2008 Year in Review

Quote of the Day

"I kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper looking for the treasure chest until i finally lifted my head, looked up and realized that i had dug my own grave."
-Dominic


another year has begun, thus another year has gone by to reflect upon. a lot has happened this year in which there has been so many ups and downs. A difficult time for me in my personal life has led to not as much play as i would have liked. there were hopes of supernova elite in '08, but it never seemed to materialize.

the year started off slowly in january while i was in new york. i didn't play much while i was away from home. i came back in february after watching my giants win the superbowl...with a fresh outlook on my game. with my time off, i really tried to focus on holes that i had. i started to make specific adjustments against certain types of players and the results started to pay off. february and march were both very good months for me and when april 1st rolled around, things started to turn.

i played a few 5k's which i sold some action to some of my friends and got crushed. i went 0-4 or 0-5 and it was a difficult task to overcome. after dropping those games, the outlook was daunting to try to grind that money back. when may rolled around, i had won a LAPT package to brazil which i busted early on day 2. shortly after i got back, myself and my gf at the time of 7 years, after months of distress, broke up. i spent a lot of may taking it easy and not putting pressure on myself to play.

when the world series came around in june, it was very uplifting to see a lot of friends during a time when i needed to them. i was lucky to be running very hot at the time in my HU games online. that was a big relief, because i couldn't play for many hours at a time.

july roamed around and i felt a little better about my situation, and a little more refreshed. the ex-gf and i started to talk about getting back together, which i thought i had wanted. i decided to make a run at supernova elite during the 1.5x vpp promotion in late july. i played ridiculously hard for 2 weeks, and it gave me an outside shot at achieving it.

when august hit, i was dedicated in getting elite and my mindset was no matter what happens with the decision of my relationship status, i was going to grind it out and get elite. i was really motivated and thought things were starting to go my way again. things drastically changed when i heard from her that it was over for good. i went into a state of depression, blaming myself for everything that had gone wrong in the relationship. i over thought every single thing that happened, and just tortured myself. i knew i needed some sort of help to guide me through this.

i started to see a counselor in late august, which probably was one of the best decisions i have ever made. i know there are general negative connotations associated with seeing a counselor, and this isn't the easiest of things to discuss. but i feel its important to stress having an open mind about it. people will always try to take care of their physical health, and put their mental health problems on the back shelf because its not something tangible. you can't see it...or touch it...but its effect on each individual is immeasurable. i majored in psychology in college, and hope to go back to school for my masters (realistic) or phd (not so realistic) and do some counseling after my poker career is over.

i got lucky to get the counselor i have. she relates with me very well and has shown me so much to help me deal with my struggles. i realized everything wasn't my fault, regardless of how much blame is put on me by others, it wasn't fair. i questioned many things i did in my relationship, and regretted many things i had done. she helped me come to a grasp on reality. my relationship wasn't good from the start. it was a bad situation to get myself into, and the first 6 months were exactly like the last 6 months. nothing changed. i feel so much smarter in approaching my next relationship and finding someone that compliments me like a best friend...not someone who you are afraid to speak to about something serious...rather someone who will listen and want to come to compromises. im done dealing with other peoples selfishness and hypocrisies. im trying to become more assertive in the things i want, instead of constantly feeling bad for others when they dont get what they want.

i am regaining and realizing the control that i have in my situation moving forward. there is only so much i can do. im honestly done being angry about the past. im done holding grudges for things that have happened. what the hell is the point? sit here and punish myself over petty stupidness? no thanks...time to look ahead to things i want to accomplish, and enjoying the present moments that life has to offer.

when september came, i knew i had to make a change. i started to get active in sports again, something which i put on the shelf for a long time. i enrolled at UNLV and took up golf and tennis classes. i also started to play tennis in community practices as well. i was playing 5-6 days a week, and it was invigorating. i started to eat better, and with all the exercise, next thing ya know...i lost 30 pounds since may and was basically at my high school weight again. and considering im 27 years old...it had sure been a while.

i then badly sprained my ankle in mid september, and decided to get health insurance for the first time in my adult life! that was exciting. of course it wasn't retroactive, but it was nice knowing i had it just in case. october wasn't too eventful...i started to get back into my classes after the injury, and poker started to pick up again after a slow september.

i enrolled in the 'big brothers' program in mid october, and am still waiting to be matched up with a child. i have finished my interview process a while ago. (check out http://www.bbbsa.org/ for more info on volunteering). i thought it would be a great opportunity to give back some time to the community, and hopefully have a positive influence on a child who is in need of it. during my childhood, i did not grow up with my father, and when i saw him, it was very rarely. i realize how lucky i am to be where i am today, and with the knowledge of how it affected me...i hope i can be a positive role model and mentor for someone else.

i was all over the map in november and december, playing online wherever and whenever i had a spare moment. i was in hawaii for a week, toronto for 5 days, new york for 10 days...back home for 2 weeks, then arizona for a week. i saw a lot of friends and family, and was definitely the most enjoyable part of my year. the heads up sng's were kind to me the last two months as well.

so in some sort of conclusion of my ramblings...the year was a crazy one. i learned a lot about other people, and a ton about myself. i gotta keep reminding myself how lucky i am to be where i am today. even three years ago, i was a broke, degenerate gambler who needed action any way i could get it. i had many sleepless nights thinking about internet blackjack, and missed field goals. i would wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing to check the college games that finished on the west coast. it was no way to live. today, i dont play table games, and i dont bet on sports. i reached 400 on scope just before the year ended...i have over 1 million fpp's (which i plan to save for a car). things have really changed for me. im eating healthier and exercising....i have great friends, a great job, a great perspective on life and poker. i think about how far i have come in my life...and if it were to somehow end tomorrow, i can honestly be thankful for one hell of a ride.